Words

I am continually amazed at how wonderfully good people are, and this week I’ve been especially struck by the kind things they say. I find that happiness in life is never a matter of circumstances, but a matter of the way you respond to those circumstances. And for me, the way I respond to a situation is often greatly improved by the love and support from people around me. This post is a shout out to the dear and kind souls who have lifted me up through the things they say.

Speaking is not my forte, and I often struggle to find the right words, know when to start, and know when to stop- and therefore I sincerely appreciate it when other people are willing to take the time to talk to me.

Here are some of the words that are still resonating with me from this week-

“Teacher, I got this just for you.”

“Wow, we would be out of work if everybody’s teeth looked like yours... I’m really jealous of your teeth.” -Dental hygienist

“Thank you for coming, we’re glad that you’re here.” - Temple worker

“Miss James, I put a seat next to mine for you to sit in.”

“I’m sorry about yesterday Miss James. I’m going to be good today.”

“You don’t need to worry about spiraling downward, we’re not going to let that happen. You’re going to be okay, and I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.” -My doctor.

“Everyday I ask her what the best part of her day was at school, and everyday she says ‘Going to math with Miss James!’ Thanks for your hard work.” -Student’s parent

“You look great.”

“When are we going to watch star wars?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Take care.”

“Do you need anything?”

“I love you.”

I don’t think any of the people who said these things knew how much I needed it at that moment. I guess people generally don’t realize the full impact that their words have, but it can be huge. It’s a good reminder for me to choose my words more carefully, because even when it seems like nobody is listening, they just might be. I’m also grateful that they were brave enough to give whatever compliment or ask whatever considerate question that they did, because it takes a little bit of courage sometimes. This week I’m going to try extra hard to choose words that just might brighten somebody’s day a little bit.

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

(Cause [I'm]) So Smooth..

Yesterday as I was set off to store, "Smooth" by Santana (feat. Rob Thomas) came on the radio. I was super stoked to be sure. I was disappointed though, because despite my good fortune I reached my destination before even coming to the caliente chorus. I nearly stayed in the car just to savor the sweet spanish song, but instead went straight into Smith's and instead sang to myself as I picked pleasant produce.

After arriving back at my automobile, I packed in my purchases and found the first preset playing music. I was surely surprised when suddenly the succulent sounds of Santana once again surrounded me. "Smooth" was on again. Shocking.

I brightly bounded up to my bedroom, bubbling over with bliss, and flabbergasted by my good fortune. I then walked in to find my marvelous macbook, Phoebe, lying foreignly on the floor.

I opened it to find that the screen wasn't working, and knew immediately that as it had fallen on the floor a cable inside was disconnected. How did I know this? Because I did this same thing not 3 weeks ago, and had to take her to the doctor to get repaired.

I still am quizzically questioning the cause of this catastrophe, and the only conceivable cause is that there was an execrable earthquake in my absence.

So I did the only thing that made any sense, I turned on "smooth" and pretended nothing bad happened.

Lessons learned:

1. I have 2 supernatural powers- the gift of causing unwanted destruction to innocent objects, even without being present, and the gift of having a miraculous influence over the radio.

2. I'd make an awful superhero, because both of my powers are completely useless.

3. I shouldn't own nice/expensive things.

4. No matter how careful I think I am, I will still ruin things. Therefore, there is no reason to get upset about it, but instead I should laugh at myself, because at least I'm funny.

5. Rob Thomas and Santana will always be there for me, no matter what. "And if this life ain't good enough I'd give my world, to lift you up. I would change my life to better suit your mood, cause you're so smooth.."

Thanks guys.

Sorry if you read this whole post, it's kind of stupid. I love you dearly.

Cooking adventures!

One of the blessings of not having classes and homework any longer is that I actually make food once in awhile. Granted, it's still a rare occurrence, but I'm working on it!

I've also been making big efforts to eat healthier, and it's been fabulous.

Here are some recipes I've found/tweaked/created that are TOTALLY good for you and super easy.

Apples and Banana Bread- this is not just any banana bread. It has no butter or eggs, and is therefore basically fat free. As a substitute I used my new best friend: applesauce. It turned out really delicious, and I ate tons of it without feeling guilty at all.

*Tip: Use some cinnamon to really spice it up nicely.

And here we have a similar venture- Oatmeal craisin cookies. These are also made with applesauce rather than butter or eggs. I loved them, and I found craisin cookies are even more fun than raisin ones.
This one doesn't exactly count, because it's just a mix. Notice however that these too are FAT FREE. All you do is add water! I actually liked the taste of them better than your average +egg +oil muffins. I have a feeling I'm going to be making these quite often.
And last but not least- my version of the broccoli salad.
Ingredients: broccoli, pasta shells, black beans, chicken, raisins, and just traces of light miracle whip, vinegar, and sugar.

This was so delicious. Not only that, but I only put in about 1/8 cup of light miracle whip. Most recipes of this size call for about 2 cups of mayonnaise. It also only has a fraction of the sugar. I substituted chicken in place of the bacon, and added black beans, and raisins for some extra flavor and nutrients- and viola. An awesome dinner that will yield about 6 servings. It's low calorie, high nutrient, simple, tasty, and the hardest part was opening the cans.

Everybody has different food habits and struggles. For me, being lactose intolerant, anemic, and not eating eggs or red meat makes it tricky to get enough calcium, iron, and protein. Lately I've been on a quest to find foods that I enjoy and are good for me. Most of the time I end up creating my own recipes based on the foods that I want to be inside of me. I would definitely encourage you to be proactive, and find foods that you could incorporate more or less of in your diet. I have a very strong testimony of eating healthy- when your body is in good condition your life and Spirit can function so much better!

Happy cooking!

Goodbye May Seem Forever

The weekend before last I helped my dad finally move the rest of the stuff in our house out. There really isn't anywhere to put the majority of the stuff that was in our house, and so a ton of it went to the dump. Here is one trip, of at least 10 truck-fulls to the dump.

It's hard to describe how it felt, throwing away years and years of stuff and memories. It feels sort of sad and wrong, because once it's thrown away it's gone. So many things that were parts of my life, the toys I played with, things I made, random objects I was used to seeing around the house as I was growing up- they aren't coming back.

At the same time I recognize the necessity and opportunity for change. I know it's time to start fresh and clean, and do away with the past. It isn't easy though.

Warning- this next part isn't fair of me to post. But I can't think of any other way to express what it felt like to drop my cats off at their new home, even if I can visit them sometimes- so sorry. Don't watch it if you don't feel like crying.

I guess the hard part isn't really the stuff. It's more the feeling that I don't really have a "home" to go to anymore. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that life and family aren't ever going back to the way they were. And that's for the best too, but it's all bittersweet. I wonder how long it will be before things feel normal again. With my cats moved away to their new places, it's hard to believe life will ever feel right again. I'm glad my parents are both moving on, everyone is quite obviously happier, and what more can you ask for?

As I was cleaning out my room, my sweet and dear friend Bella came and visited. I knew I had to have on my brave face, but she didn't. She told me straight out that she didn't want me to leave, that she'd miss me, and that I shouldn't be leaving. Bella has been one of my best and loving friends for years. It's good to know that there are some things that never change, and I'm so grateful for this sweet little girl.

Here's some more of my feelings, in a little prettier format-

For now I'm holding onto the hope that someday there will be home again. Someday my lifestyle will hold a little more consistency. Someday there will be less goodbyes and circumstances that force you to let go of things you hold dear. In the mean time I'm grateful for the incredible progress that has happened, especially in the last year. I've learned a lot, and the people who I care about have been watched over and protected. I've seen how His plan for us is better than our plan for ourselves. Thank goodness that there is one home and a Heavenly Father that will never change, and never abandon us.